My birthday was a few weeks ago and I received over a dozen  “Happy Birthday” emails from many of the companies I buy from.

One of my favorite coffee shops, Haraz in LoSo, stood out by sending me $5 off my next visit before the end of May. Not an original gesture, but I immediately started looking for a reason to go. All the other emails got deleted. 

According to CSG's 2026 State of the Customer Experience Report, 7 out of 10 consumers feel brands send so many messages, they no longer care what brands are saying. 

The same report found that more than one third of consumers have stopped buying from a brand altogether because of excessive outreach. 

Yet most businesses respond by sending more messages, not better ones.

The $5 was not the point. The intention behind it was the point.

Every tool imaginable exists to reach people at scale. And yet customer experience has never felt more generic. The tools are being used to do more of the same thing faster, not something meaningfully different.

What creates a remarkable client experience, even when you serve a lot of people aren’t the tools. It’s the intention of:

Know one specific thing about them and use it. Something they told you. A goal they mentioned. A challenge they are navigating. Reference it when you reach out and you instantly become the only person in their inbox who was actually paying attention.

Create an unplanned moment of value. The Haraz created a reason for me to show up. You can do the same. A relevant article. An introduction to someone they should know. A resource that answers a question they did not know to ask yet.

Make your communication feel written, not triggered. Automation is a tool, not a strategy. Use it to handle the logistics. Write the actual words yourself, or at minimum make them sound like a human being who knows who they are talking to.

Mark their wins, not just your calendar. The most powerful version of a birthday email isn’t about the birthday. It is "I noticed you just hit a milestone" or "I saw you were featured somewhere." That requires attention. Attention is the rarest thing a client can receive from a vendor.

You do not have to choose between scale and care. You have to choose to stop treating the tools as a substitute for a genuine relationship.

I don’t feel more connected to Haraz because of the $5. They have my attention because they were the only ones who made me feel like they cared.

#HarazCoffee